Thursday, March 07, 2013

Building a Fort


Building a Fort

“Have you ever built a fort before? I Have.” “Once  I tried to build a fort all by myself,and this is how I did it.” “I gathered up some sticks and twigs and started to build it.” “It went  ok but it kept falling down and crashing.” “I sprinted inside and yelled out to Mum, MUM CAN I HAVE SOME GLUE!!! She said yes,thank you I said a bit quieter.” “So I came back outside and glued the sticks and twigs together, it still wouldn't stay together.”
“Man it was soooo hard.” “So after a while I   gave up and did something else.” “I went to my room and wanted to play on my playstation two, but my lazy Dad was on it,so I asked him if I could have a turn on it and he said after me,and when he says after me he means tomorrow,well that sucks.” “So I decided to go on my scooter,but my little sister Riana was on it, IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO!!! I said to myself. So then my Dad came and said to me do you want to come help me with the barbecue, and I said yes.” “Finally,about time that I got to do something that didn't involve some that was too hard.




As you can see I didn't get to build the fort.

THE END
By Braeden Foster

8 comments:

  1. Awesome story Braeden! I love the part when you try to build a fort but the sticks keep falling off. You finally got to do something with your dad, Setting up The Barbecue. I like how you said first you built a fort and then you went to play on your PS2 but your dad was on it so you went to ride your scooter and your sister was on it so Dad said "Why don't you help me set up the barbecue" Awsome Stuff!!

    From Chris

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  2. Hi Braeden. This is a cool story. You used humour well to help tell your story. You are a better cook on the BBQ than Dad too! Love from Mum.

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  3. Awesome story Braeden,
    I liked the way how you explained
    how hard a fort can be to build

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  4. Kia Ora Son

    This story shows me that you are a good writer. You drew my attention in the opening by asking a question and I was intrigued about what your response was going to be. I could also imagine you running inside and YELLING at Mum. Good use of capital letters to highlight you were yelling. It was also good that you tried to use problem solving to build the fort, even though the glue didn't work. You made me laugh when I read the part about lazy Dad on the playstation. I really liked the way you constructed the sentence "and when he says after me he means tomorrow, well that sucks".

    Congratulations on a well written story Braeden, you have a variety of short and long sentences, you use a range of punctuation (exclamation marks, commas, speech marks and a question mark), you have humour and you are able to express your thoughts and ideas clearly.

    Keep up the good work
    Love you Dad

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